watson booze cruise part 02: panach’ (switzerland [france])
Posted by christolles | Filed under Booze Cruise, Switzerland
Today I had the pleasure of sampling the finest of historical, revered, storied French beverages: Panach’! What is that apostrophe doing there, you might ask… no clue. If you roll francophone, please check out their homepage and fill us all in, because it certainly is ugly to have two punctuation marks in a row. That’s right up there with using periods in an acronym at the end of a sentence: U.S.A.. Ugh! What do I do with that second period?! Which reminds me of another despised punctuation faux pas: attempting a “smiley” emoticon within a parenthetical: (of which I use many :)). Leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.
But we’ve come full circle, because so does Panach (no apostrophe from now on). First of all, what is Europe thinking with these ridiculous 250 ml bottles? 8.454 fluid ounces for the imperially-inclined among us, it’s like serving beer in a glass juice box - a little silly, although perhaps it’s proportional to their stomach sizes, because Tory and I have noticed many things sold in surprisingly tiny portions, from yogurt to pasta (more on that in a later post). I would describe Panach as weak lemonade that was accidentally mixed with a small amount of water-flavored light beer. Not inspiring. But at 1.8% ABV, you needn’t worry about it getting you in trouble, either. Even Tory didn’t feel anything!
Enjoyed at a church BBQ afternoon in France, one thing I’m pleased with is that it was free. Panache is like a wimpy Euro version of Mike’s Hard Lemonade: a lot softer, and made by a smarmy mustachio’d guy named Michel (pronounced Michelle). Overall taste grade: B-, but only because it is also as inoffensive as it is uninspiring…
Design-wise, the same. Gradients, swooshes, annoying Flash website, blah blah blah: C+.
What’s this?! Classic scripts? Foil? Embossing?! Also discovered at the BBQ was a package of Lindt’s 99% pure Cacoa chocolate, if you can even call it that. From the brilliant perforated pull-strip to the restrained typography, you can tell that this is a product of distinction. As I raised a bite-size bit of the nearly black bar to my lips, I was glad to get the Panach aftertaste out of my mouth… NOT. This stuff is gross.
With the consistency and flavor nuances of black chalk, 99% Cacao would be Excellent as fertilizer. Would your car run on 99% crude, even if it did cost $23/gallon? Taste: F. Design: A.
NB: The Google can also do other neat calculations.
7 Responses to “watson booze cruise part 02: panach’ (switzerland [france])”
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Able Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 9:30 pmLOL! Good times. Too bad these were both bad. What good things has France brought you?
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Julia Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 9:31 pmFabulous! I love your posts. Please write about French pastry. Also, can we see a little signage?
<3 -
joel Says:
August 18th, 2008 at 11:12 amlindt chocolatier is sorry you don’t have the panache to appreciate the finer things in life.
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d a n i : ) Says:
August 19th, 2008 at 1:31 pmChris, Panach’ is a brand. The word is actually Panache and it is basically beer with lemonade.
Nobody would buy this already in a bottle… only tourists
Go to a bar, ask for a panache and they just mix beer with lemonade. I’m sure you have something similar in the US.
In my home town, Barcelona we call it Sindy or Clara. -
tom Says:
August 20th, 2008 at 8:34 pmchocolate is bitter by nature, as such they add sugar and cream to it to make it more palatable…
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Christian Says:
August 20th, 2008 at 11:17 pmemma and i found the most gloriously packaged baked beans in vermont. will send you a picture. glad to know you’re out there as a design ambassador of us all. viva la france et les tolles’.
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andi Says:
August 22nd, 2008 at 6:41 amHave you experienced the interrobang?!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang
i was just introduced… what are you doing next weekend? mind a visitor?
